On Loss

This is a tough season for some of us. Graduation, while exciting, may cause feelings of loss and emptiness for those left in a quiet home. Mother’s Day, meant to celebrate, can also open wounds for many of us who have suffered related losses. I hope Cynthia’s words bring comfort to your heart today.


Dearest Friend,

I’m writing this as I think back to our son’s graduation a few years ago. Although you may not relate to all my reflections, I trust that something in this post will encourage you.

Our emotions are fickle, but God is faithful.

This is a tough season for some of us. Graduation, while exciting, may cause feelings of loss and emptiness for those left in a now-quiet home. Mother’s Day, meant to celebrate, can also open wounds for many of us who have suffered related losses. I hope these words bring comfort to your heart today.

Lies about Loss

#1 – No one cares.

This is absolutely and irrevocably NOT true; however, someone else’s loss may not be as apparent to you or may not impact others in the same way.

#2 – My husband (spouse, parent, sister, etc.) doesn’t really love me.

Just because he deals with emotions differently, appears callous, or just doesn’t understand DOES NOT mean he doesn’t love you.

#3 – It’s the end.

Yes, it is the end as you know it, but it’s NOT the end of life. God still has great things in store. Your season has just changed.

Reality

During the year that our son was to graduate from high school, I felt like I was heading toward a cliff. There was an abysmal chasm staring me in the face. I threw myself into his open house preparations – final touches on his posters, his albums, etc. Then I put on a smile. but . . . inside I was dying. I had poured my life into this our firstborn son . . . and now he was leaving. Utter devastation!

Grieving is a natural process: it’s the result of a loss. (Even though our son was still under my roof, I felt like I was losing him forever.) Acknowledge your grief! Recognize some of its stages: denial and isolation, anger, bargaining (even with God), depression. You may have moments or even hours of tears, BUT . . . try to keep going! God had a plan for our son and for me (and still does!!). Life hadn’t ended: I still had “work” and ministry (to my family and to others). Help me, Lord!

Use Truth to Cope

Don’t look to others to fill the void in your heart. Look to God and God alone. If you have time, stop right now and read Psalm 62.

Don’t look to others to fill the void in your heart. Look to God and God alone. Click To Tweet

That you, O God, are strong and that you, O Lord, are loving . . .My hope comes from You!

My dad used to remind me regarding emotions that after a “high” there is always a “low.” Graduation, a wedding, Christmas, a big family gathering – these are “highs.” Recognize the “low” that often follows such events. Your emotions are real but they don’t have to define you or bring you to a shrieking halt.

Instead do the following:

  1. Slow down. Recognize why you feel the way you do. It’s part of the grieving process.
  2. Take time to pray and “pour out your heart before Him” (Ps. 62:8b)
  3. Let God (not other unhelpful substitutes) soothe your aching soul with His Word.

In God is my salvation, and my glory: the rock of my strength, and my refuge is in God.

Friend, don’t forget who you are – a child of the King: His valued, treasured possession. He longs to be your comfort.  Let Him.

God longs to be your comfort. Let Him. Click To Tweet

Your sister in Christ,

Cynthia


Cynthia and her husband have three grown, married children and a grandson. They recently added a not-so-little puppy to their home. She enjoys outdoor activities, swimming, reading, writing, gardening and art. Her passion is sharing insights from God’s Word and helping others apply His truth to daily life.

How do you cope in seasons of loss? What bible verses or songs bring you comfort?

13 thoughts on “On Loss

  1. I needed this today! I’m about to have my first baby, and as crazy as it sounds I’ve already had flash-forwards of what these days will be like. I always thought I’d be the strong mom who wasn’t emotional sending her baby to kindergarten the first day, but I’m kind of dreading that day! I want every day of mommy and me time I can get! Thanks for sharing! Here’s to putting my faith in Him!

  2. I love how you pointed out that it might be the end of a season of life, but it’s not the end of your life. Everything has a season. Change can bring good things too.

  3. Hi Cynthia,
    I think this post will be very encouraging for anyone who’s experiencing loss. I was reading, really hoping to see you take things back to Christ. Was blessed to see you do that. For some people Christ might be all they have, so they need to know that is who they have if you know what I mean.

  4. Hello Cynthia, thank you for sharing your heart. As a mother of young children, I never imagined that becoming an empty nester could cause
    feelings of grief. This articles helps me better understand women going through this season in life. Thanks for the insight.

    1. Tania, thank you for your comments. It’s easy to ‘get stuck’ in our own season. Your sensitivity to others shows compassion. It’s good to have friends in a variety of age groups. With age comes wisdom, but we can also gain wisdom from the aged. 🙂

  5. Thank you for your comments, Scott. I like your phrasing ‘take things back to Christ’! Ultimately, that’s all there is – Christ alone, our Cornerstone. There are many (and that’s an understatement!) distractions, but when we re-focus we get eternity back in view

  6. I loved this post. Loss is part of life and we have to rise above it with God’s help. I love the honesty and depth to your writing. God continues to use our circumstances to invite us into an encounter of his heart towards us

  7. I can relate to loss. I’ve lost some friends recently due to us being in different seasons of life. While it’s easy to lash out at my husband whenever he suggests doing something with these friends, I have to remember that he’s grieving that loss of connection his own way. This serves as a good reminder for that.

    1. I’m glad Cynthia included that point about how loss is handled differently by people. I can definitely misinterpret my husband’s reactions as uncaring when in reality he cares deeply.

  8. Hi Beka,
    We have six children and our oldest is nine (a daughter). She keeps reminding me that she’s going to be “double digits this year.” She says it because she knows I’m not too thrilled about my little girl growing up. I can only imagine what some of the other changes in life will mean. You mentioned graduation, but I thought of marriage, moving out, maybe moving away,

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