Have you ever noticed the beautiful ending of John 13:1?
Now before the Feast of the Passover, when Jesus knew that his hour had come to depart out of this world to the Father, having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end.
Jesus loved the twelve disciples to the end. That phrase stuck in my heart and made me pause and ponder.
To the end.
How often do I do anything well to the end?
Honestly, not often! I hate transition periods. I can’t stand to linger in goodbyes. When I’ve changed jobs, I’ve dreaded the time between telling people I’m leaving and the day when I actually leave. I hurry to get through; I rush to the end.
I’ve realized this is a symptom of a greater tendency. I’m an habitual quitter and a commitment-phobe.
I’m afraid to fully commit to God.
I don’t mean for salvation. I have fully believed and repented unto salvation, without any wavering doubt. (If you’re not confident of this, you can be!)
But I hesitate to fully commit to his plan for my life.
Well, there are a few reasons that all boil down to this one: FEAR. I fall victim to this more than I’d like to admit. Fear stops me from fully pursuing God’s big call on my life. It even stops me from following smaller day-to-day directions of the Holy Spirit.
- I’m afraid I’m not good enough; I’m inadequate. If I try, I will fail.
- And of course, I don’t like to fail, so I’m afraid of that.
- I’m afraid of what it will cost me or my family. Not financially, but of memories and margin.
- I’m afraid there’s not enough for me. Enough time, or energy, or ideas, or space. I’m always afraid of running out of something.
- And…I’m afraid of success. What if I do succeed? What then?
Yes, I’m aware that I’m a bit whiny with God. I’m humbled that He puts up with me and chooses to use me in spite of myself.
Don’t Decide. Commit…
Decide and commit mean roughly the same thing, but have different connotations.
Take this sentence for example:
I decided it was time to commit.
See what I mean? Decide is something you do once. It may take a little time, but once you’ve done it, it’s over. In punctuation, it’s a period. Commit keeps on going. It takes ongoing time, effort, and sacrifice. In punctuation, it would be the ellipsis…indicating that there’s more to come.
No disrespect meant to the beautiful hymn, but I don’t want to merely decide to follow Jesus. I want to commit to follow Him.
I want to be a woman who follows through. I want to be a person who commits to finish the work God has given me, not just one who decides to start. I want to be a disciple God can count on.I will be a disciple God can count on. Click To Tweet
One he can trust to work to the end.
What about you? Have you fully committed to God or are you slightly commitment-phobic like me?