I’m a quitter.
I’ve been going through the bible study A Woman Who Doesn’t Quit by Nicki Koziarz and it’s awesome. It speaks right to my unspoken weakness. I don’t know if I would have recognized this weakness in myself if God hadn’t drawn me to this book.
I’m a quitter. And not an elegant or gracious one either.
I’ve quit diets.
I’ve quit jobs.
I’ve quit a marriage- almost two of them if I’m honest.
I’ve quit a church
I’ve quit leadership positions.
I’ve quit friendships.
I’ve even quit God for a time.
When I ask myself why, it’s almost always for the same reason- It was too hard and I gave up.
I couldn’t keep up with making tea and rolling silverware while waiting tables.
I was overwhelmed by the budgeting, parent questions, and teenage needs as a youth group coordinator.
I couldn’t do the difficult work of rebuilding a marriage after the love grew cold.
It was too much work to maintain a close friendship through phone calls and long distance visits.
I’m learning that it takes a determined perseverance to hang in there and not give up. Some people just seem to have this as part of their DNA. I do not. For me, it takes clawing through mundane tasks, cheering myself on with self-talk that includes verses like “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength” and “I am His masterpiece, created anew in Christ Jesus, to do the good things he planned for me long ago.” Sometimes it takes turning on my favorite songs and reminding myself of the cross. I can do anything for a savior who gave His life for me.
So, in Christ’s strength, day-by-day, with seemingly small choices, I press on and decide to quit quitting. I’m in it for the long haul. I choose to see, taste, and experience all of the goodness God has planned for me.