The LORD bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly. -Psalm 84:11
I felt God tell me to shut my mouth, but I really didn’t want to.
I wanted to get my way! And in my timing, which is usually right now…
What is the thing you’re striving for right now? The thing that you’re anxious to make happen? For me, it’s owning a home.
My husband and I have been looking at homes for over a year.
Most of what’s available in our area within our budget are condos. I’m fine with that. I like having people close by for safety reasons. Inevitably what happens is this: We look at the pictures online, I start imagining our furniture in the rooms, I fall in love with it because it has a community pool or hardwood floors or whatever. Then we drive over to look at it, and….hubby doesn’t like it because the yard is too small or it’s a middle unit, etc. Nothing wrong with that. I accept his opinion the best I humanly can, because I fully acknowledge that both spouses need to love a place before committing to pay for it for 30 years. But then I’m disappointed and feel like this is never going to happen for us. This is how the scenario has played out at least ten times. Each time, my hope dwindles more.
Then we found a house in the town where we’d like to live. It had the right number of bedrooms and bathrooms for us. It’s in a nice subdivision with other families with young kids. The pictures of the yard looked great and it even had a nice deck. And it was within our budget. I’m thinking- Hallelujah, this has to be the one! When we called to set up a showing and the realtor said he could meet us in 20 minutes. Wow! Even more confirmation this is meant to be, right? Of course!
As we’re looking through the house, Noah’s running around the hallways and playing with the toy car he brought in. In my mind, this is it. It already feels like home. We’ve found it. I’m pretty much already thanking God for making this happen.
When we got back in the car, I ask my husband excitedly, “What did you think?” knowing he’s gonna love it and we’re going to immediately move forward on it. But he begins to describe all the work it would take to make it move-in ready. And how much those things would cost. And how much that takes this home above our budget. Each time he brings up an objection, I say, “But..” followed by a perfectly logical reason that whatever he’s saying is not a deal breaker.
This is when I felt God tell me to shut my mouth. I’d like to say I did. But I persisted for at least five more minutes.
I heard a whisper in my heart, “What do you really want?”
Though I’m stubborn and strong-willed and anxious to have our own home, my heart admitted in that moment that what I really want is a happy family chasing after God.
Not to manipulate or guilt my husband into getting a house that he may never love and that he’ll grumpily have to fix.
What I really want is God’s best.
Do I really think He can’t provide another place for us? One that we can both love? No, of course I know He can. And I choose to believe that He will, even when it doesn’t feel that way. Feelings cannot be trusted, but God can.
I choose to rest in His truth and wait for His best.
Whatever you’re striving for today, choose to rest in God’s truth and wait for His best. He withholds no good thing from those who walk uprightly. He is a good father who gives us perfect gifts. Even if it’s not in our timing! We have to make the choice to believe Him and to believe that He has awesome things in store for us.